The Pocket-Sized Confidence Machine

FULL LYRICS

[Intro]
Y'all ready to go on the dating apps?
Ladies get ready to be swept off your feet
I created this little robot to find me a wife
To find me my future lady
It's called Swipe Bot

[Verse 1]
"Hi
Ladies. I am Swipe Bot. I was created to search the apps for a mate for my owner."
Oh
That's right
"Now I know the apps can be a bit of a drag sometimes"
But I'm a game changer
I am your matchmaker
I'm the closest thing you'll get to a guarantee
So I'm about to tell you all the things that my owner is great at
Just a few of his qualities
His many amazing qualities

[Chorus]
He likes animals
He can fix things
And his butt is amazing
He's also incredibly humble
Your life with him will be wonderful
[Verse 2]
"He is funny
He is smart
He is handsome
He is rich
And did I mention his amazing butt?
And the best part about him is that he is incredibly humble
You can tell your friends
And your one fake friend
But fuck her
Your real friends will be so excited for you
And your life with him will be amazing"

[Bridge]
Oh
So incredible
Oh
So incredible
Oh
So incredible
Oh
So incredible
So wonderful
Oh
So incredible
Oh
So incredible
Oh
So incredible
[Outro]
"He can carry heavy groceries and move things and brag about him to your friends
He's everything you could want and more
Thank you
This has been Swipe Bot"
Thank you for listening to Swipe Bot
I hope you all find your matches
Now go forth and find your soulmate