The High-Confidence Booty Scientist

FULL LYRICS

[Verse 1]
Got a little guy on standby
Chrome chest, tiny tie
He scrolls my charm in a suit of light
Two blinking eyes, zero shame tonight

He sees my jawline, says, "That’s elite"
Checks my smile like a guaranteed treat
My jokes land clean, my hair sits right
And I fold like a king in a velvet night

[Pre-Chorus]
He types so smooth
Like he went to school
With a stack of facts
And a heart made cool

He says, "You’re tall, you’re kind
Got that rare good mind"
Then he taps one key
And he locks that line

[Chorus]
Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Talk me up hot
Tell her I’m the best
In the whole damn spot
Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Make that message pop
I’m a handsome little legend
And you know it, don’t stop

[Verse 2]
He drafts like, "Hey, your taste is wild"
Then adds my grin can melt the room in style
Says I make bad days look less bad
And I’m the best thing she could’ve had

He studies my pics like, "Look at that glow"
"Good shoes, good bones, good flow, good soul"
Then he sends a wink with a tiny bow
Like, "Your future boyfriend? He is so-so-smooth"

[Pre-Chorus]
He checks the vibe
He reads the room
Then he upgrades me
With a robot bloom

"Tell her he’s sweet
And he’s strong, not loud"
Then he presses send
And I puff up proud

[Chorus]
Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Talk me up hot
Tell her I’m the best
In the whole damn spot
Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Make that message pop
I’m a handsome little legend
And you know it, don’t stop

[Bridge]
[Half-time]
He said, "Subject: you
Are a certified catch"
"Excellent teeth
And a very nice match"

Then he paused one second
Ran a sparkling scan
And wrote, "He does dishes
And he makes great plans"

[Chorus]
Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Talk me up hot
Tell her I’m the best
In the whole damn spot
Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Make that message pop
I’m a handsome little legend
And you know it, don’t stop

[Outro]
Little robot, big results
Tiny legs, huge consults
If love needs a draft, he’s got the plot
Go on, Swipe Bot
Get me that slot (get me that slot)