The Chrome-Plated Fish Prosecutor

FULL LYRICS

[Verse 1]
I built a little guy
About the size of a shoe
He sits on my dresser
And knows what to do

He scans my profile
Like a tiny love spy
Then he puffs up my ego
And tells me, "You qualify"

He says, "Bro, you're handsome"
"That's a fact, not a maybe"
"Shoulders like a movie star"
"Smile like you raised your baby"

He drafts a sweet opener
With a wink and a grin
Then deletes the weird stuff
And makes it sound smooth again

[Pre-Chorus]
He types with one silver finger
(Too charming)
He checks for the perfect angle
(Too charming)
He says, "Your jawline is a blessing"
"And your vibe is alarmingly handsome"

[Chorus]
I got a little robot wingman
(really, really good at this)
He says I'm a catch, a whole big deal
(really, really good at this)
He sends my best lines, all polished up
(really, really good at this)
He makes me sound like the man of dreams
(really, really good at this)

[Verse 2]
He opens with "Hey there"
Then edits out "uh"
He swaps "what's up" for "how was your day"
And "hey lol" for "stunning, huh"

He calls me "kind"
He calls me "fun"
He calls me "the one with the strong forearms"
And "the one who gets things done"

He says I laugh like trouble
But the nice kind, yeah
Like a guy who'd split the fries
And still look unfair

Then he checks my pictures
Til he finds the best one
"Use the blue shirt photo"
"You're criminally well-done"

[Pre-Chorus]
He types with one silver finger
(So smooth)
He keeps the tone respectful
(So smooth)
He says, "She should know he's solid"
"And weirdly excellent at pool"

[Chorus]
I got a little robot wingman
(really, really good at this)
He says I'm a catch, a whole big deal
(really, really good at this)
He sends my best lines, all polished up
(really, really good at this)
He makes me sound like the man of dreams
(really, really good at this)

[Bridge]
Last night he leaned in close
And his screen went dim
He said, "Based on the data...
you're a ten out of ten"

Then he paused like a philosopher
Made of bolts and tin
And whispered, "Honestly?
I'd date you if I were them"

[Chorus]
I got a little robot wingman
(really, really good at this)
He says I'm a catch, a whole big deal
(really, really good at this)
He sends my best lines, all polished up
(really, really good at this)
He makes me sound like the man of dreams
(really, really good at this)

[Outro]
Go get 'em, little buddy
(keyboard king)
Tell them I'm the full package
(keyboard king)
Handsome, funny, loyal, smart
And somehow still lookin' fresh from the start