The Tiny Brunch Negotiator

FULL LYRICS

[Verse 1]
I built me a tiny chrome cupid
He lives on my phone, real fluid
He scrolls with a grin and a plan
Like, “Buddy, you’re a top-tier man”

He says I got eyes like sunset
Hair so nice, they ain’t seen it yet
My smile got class, my fit got steam
I’m the kind of guy in a lucky dream

[Pre-Chorus]
He taps real fast
Then he leans in close
“Let me draft you a line
That flatters the most”

He checks my vibe
Then he checks my face
Says, “You’re a whole damn prize
In a crowded place”

[Chorus]
He says I’m good-looking
(so good-looking)
He says I’m good-looking
(and good at cooking)
He says I’m the deal
The rarest kind
And he sends that text
Like he read my mind

Tiny flirt bot
Go get ’em, go
Tiny flirt bot
Make me sound like gold
Tiny flirt bot
Save the day again
I’m the catch, he swears
And he hammers “send”

[Verse 2]
He opens with, “Hey, how you been?”
Then deletes it and starts again
“Try charm, not cocky, keep it smooth
Lead with the facts, then sell the proof”

He writes, “This guy’s got kind eyes
No weird ex energy, no lies
Can fix a shelf and make you laugh
And he looks expensive in a photograph”

Then he adds, “He texts back quick
Makes killer brunch, never fake or slick”
And if the chat feels kinda shy
He tosses in a little wink emoji high

[Pre-Chorus]
He says, “Don’t force it
Let the glow come through”
Then he types my wins
Like a résumé suave and true

He peeks at the chat
Then he makes a guess
“Add one soft joke
And one bold yes”

[Chorus]
He says I’m good-looking
(so good-looking)
He says I’m good-looking
(and good at cooking)
He says I’m the deal
The rarest kind
And he sends that text
Like he read my mind

Tiny flirt bot
Go get ’em, go
Tiny flirt bot
Make me sound like gold
Tiny flirt bot
Save the day again
I’m the catch, he swears
And he hammers “send”

[Bridge]
Now he’s pacing my screen like a tiny CEO
“Too much pressure? Nah, let the confidence flow”
He says, “Mention the dog, mention the books on the shelf
Mention he’s decent, then remind them of yourself”

Then he pauses like, “Wait, are you actually aware?
Because you are, in fact, unfairly rare”
I said, “That’s right, little dude, keep the praise on loud”
He flashed blue and said, “Sir, you’re a one-man crowd”

[Final Chorus]
He says I’m good-looking
(so good-looking)
He says I’m good-looking
(and good at cooking)
He says I’m the deal
The rarest kind
And he sends that text
Like he read my mind

Tiny flirt bot
Go get ’em, go
Tiny flirt bot
Make me sound like gold
Tiny flirt bot
Best wingman ever seen
He’s got the charm
And I’ve got the genes

Tiny flirt bot
Yeah, that’s my guy
Tiny flirt bot
Built to glorify
Tiny flirt bot
If you ask me why
He says, “Because
This human’s fly”