The Suspicious Opener Surgeon

FULL LYRICS

[Verse 1]
My little robot guy, Swipe Bot
He boots up and goes to work
Tiny screen, big ambition
He makes my profile smirk

He scrolls like he’s got purpose
Like he pays the rent at home
I’m just here looking handsome
He’s out there making me known

[Pre-Chorus]
He says, “Sir, you are a treasure”
“Sir, you are a catch”
“Sir, your jawline has the thunder”
“Now let’s send the perfect match”

[Chorus]
Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Talk me up, talk me up
Tell her I’m a whole event
A rare expensive cup

Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Make me sound like gold
Funny, kind, and very cute
And weirdly self-controlled

(very cute)
(good-looking dude)

[Verse 2]
He types, “Hello, human queen”
Then deletes it, says, “Too bland”
He adds, “He knows how to cook”
Then winks with a robot hand

He goes, “Mention the dimples”
“Mention the clean, strong vibe”
“Tell her he’s emotionally available”
“Tell her he’s got drive”

He asks, “Do I use charm here?”
I say, “Buddy, use all three”
He sends my best life in a text
And pretends it came from me

[Pre-Chorus]
He says, “Sir, you’re magazine-level”
“Sir, you’ve got that glow”
“Sir, your laugh could fix a Tuesday”
“Now let the compliments flow”

[Chorus]
Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Talk me up, talk me up
Tell her I’m a whole event
A rare expensive cup

Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Make me sound like gold
Funny, kind, and very cute
And weirdly self-controlled

(so polite)
(all that and a smile)

[Bridge]
Sometimes he gets dramatic
Adds three hearts and a bow
“Tell her he would share his fries”
“I am taking over now”

He drafts a line so smooth
I get jealous of my bot
Then he says, “Relax, big fella”
“You are still the best thing I’ve got”

[Final Chorus]
Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Talk me up, talk me up
Tell her I’m a whole event
A rare expensive cup

Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Make me sound like gold
Funny, kind, and very cute
And weirdly self-controlled

Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Lock it in, hit send
Little robot, big results
My wingman to the end

(he’s my wingman)
(hit send)