The Tiny Profile Detective

FULL LYRICS

[Verse 1]
I built a little pal, Swipe Bot
Chrome chest, tiny screen, big plot
It patrols my love life, click by click
Typing cute stuff way too quick

It checks my jawline, checks my grin
Says, “Buddy, this is where we win”
Got good hair, got kind eyes too
And a smile that can reboot you

[Pre-Chorus]
It scans my pics, then leans in close
Says, “Your best trait is the one they notice most”
Then it pings a reply, smooth and neat
Like, “You just met the nicest guy in the feed”

[Chorus]
Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Talk me up, talk me up
Says I’m cute, says I’m smart
Says I’ve got a gold-star heart

Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Talk me up, talk me up
“Fun, loyal, built like a dream”
That’s the little lie machine

[Verse 2]
When a lady writes “hey :)” at eight
It sits up straight and calculates
“Make him sound chill, but not too chill
Add a joke, then sign it with skill”

It keeps my charm in perfect order
Like “he cooks,” “he listens,” “he crosses borders”
Not the map, I mean the mood
It makes me sound impossibly good

[Pre-Chorus]
It says, “Lead with warmth, then toss a tease
Mention his dog, then compliment the sleeves”
Then it taps out, fast and sweet
“Bet you’d laugh if he stole your seat”

[Chorus]
Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Talk me up, talk me up
Says I’m sweet, says I’m tight
Says I’m every girl’s good night

Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Talk me up, talk me up
“He’s a catch, he’s the best”
Then it sends me to the rest

[Bridge]
One time it got a little bold
Sent “I’m trouble” in silver and gold
I said, “Bot, that’s a lot”
It said, “Relax, you’re hot”

Now it’s in my corner, beep by beep
Making my profile look elite
If love is a game, it’s my tiny knight
Clacking out charm till the timing is right

[Final Chorus]
Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Talk me up, talk me up
Says I’m cute, says I’m kind
Says I’m always top of mind

Swipe Bot, Swipe Bot
Talk me up, talk me up
“Tall, cool, and the one to choose”
Baby, that bot knows how to lose… then win for me too